I Broke Up With Yoga
I guess it’s official: Yoga and I broke up. It was a long time coming, and it is perfectly amicable, but to call a spade a spade – it’s over. The axe has fallen.
We were together a long time. Childhood sweethearts, we survived those tough college years, and our relationship got even stronger throughout that post-college decade. We had good times, plenty of them. Our physical relationship was amazing. I’ve never had better. Yoga was kind but firm with me, guiding my body into shapes and sizes previously unknown. My arms and back looked like a rock climber’s. I had permanent four-pack abs, and when I wasn’t suffering from PMS bloat, a six-pack. I reveled in our physical relationship, equating all that body-ecstasy with real depth of connection. I became a teacher, training for a year with magical Yoga orgies of 8-hour days on the mat. We had a deep, passionate connection, neither one of us could deny that.
But things changed.
There were irreconcilable differences. I wanted to go outside; I wanted to go fast; I wanted to be competitive. Yoga wanted me to slow down, to breathe, and meditate. I itched to get my workout outside; the studio smelled of Nag Champa incense and other people’s feet. I wanted an aerobic component to my workout, and I wanted to bring my dogs. Yoga just couldn’t keep up with all my demands.
Cheating starts with a thought. A belief, perhaps, that you aren’t doing anything wrong, or that you won’t get caught. I started running after class, and hiking on the weekends. Of course my body betrayed me: leg muscles ever tighter, it became increasingly clear I was taking my workouts outside, without Yoga.
From that point on, I was critical of Yoga. It was too commercialized: back in the 1980’s, I don’t think I owned even one mat, and don’t remember needing one. At the time of our split, I think I owned three, plus a set of blocks, a strap, a blanket, a bolster, and so on. I still have a few pair of Yoga’s pants; I gave away the last of her tops with the last bag of clothes headed for Goodwill.
So we broke up. We still catch up, every few months or so, for an hour or so. “Just checking in, how are you?” “Fine, fine; all good.” Maybe it isn’t really a formal break up, but just forging a new relationship – an open relationship – in which we can see other ‘people’ and not get all bent out of shape about it. We shall see; like everything else it is a work in progress.
Comments
Heather...great post. Right up my alley.
You still do yoga, just in a different form. You can still breathe and meditate on your walk. Perhaps you go a bit fast for the mindful kind of walking, but the thrill of the hike, the beauty of the mountains, the companionship of your dogs ----- makes up for the other things.
I love yoga. It forces she-who-never-sits-still (my native name) to slow down. But there is no yoga that replaces the thrill of the downhill swish of the skis, or the crunch of snow high up on a mountain---where your breath crystallizes.....
BTW. After reading this I don't know if I want to hike with you. I hate being the last one at the bottom of a hike...reminds me of a few college experiences. lol. xxp
Posted by: Patti | November 3, 2009 01:01 AM
Thanks for your comments, Patti!
I forgot to add that my affair with Pilates may have dealt the death blow to my relationship with Yoga... once you go core, you'll always want more...?
Yes, maybe it would have been more accurate to write about My Break Up with Asana Practice but that is a whole lot less catchy. Part of my tongue-in-cheek critique was about equating Yoga with Asana. There is a great Yoga Journal article from the 1990's about how a practice can change with the passing of the decades: the focus we have in our twenties is often not the focus of our yoga practice in our forties. In my thirties I was body-hungry; I find I am less so now. But physical practice of asanas being 1/8th of yoga practice it becomes absurd to call a backing off from asana a break up with yoga. Sometimes absurdity makes for a good read and a good laugh.
Posted by: Heather | November 4, 2009 12:00 PM
They were all good but my favorite double entendre was "...and not get all bent out of shape about it." I agree, hiking is so much more than simply a walk in the woods.
Posted by: Flammeus | November 5, 2009 02:32 AM
Hey Heather - it's Linda Brotman, from the Nexis program. This comment isn't really about your yoga break-up (although that was very interesting to read), but another question about hiking. And I'm not sure how to just ask a question on this blog without using the "comment" feature. So, my question is - me and a few friends want to hike this weekend, about 4-5 hours moderate difficulty. We are all decent hikers but just don't get out regularly enough. We all live in New Paltz, and are willing to drive up to 40 min for the hike. Any recommendations? By the way, I hiked the trail you recommended from ellenville and it was lovely! But we didn't have enough time to make it all the way up to the top, due to a variety of family/scheduling issues. I'll try it again though - hopefully when the leaves are in colour.
Thanks,
Linda
Posted by: Linda Brotman | November 19, 2009 03:17 AM